Reply to Husband’s Mother Died On My Birthday

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Men can be really self centered. If the genders were reversed people would be giving the woman a hard time about being so selfish and obsessed with her dads death.

This year, celebrate earlier in the month. On your actual birthday, at least go out to lunch with a friend or do something nice for yourself. Next year, I think it’s fine to celebrate on your birthday - hopefully, it’s on a weekday so you end up celebrating on the weekend anyways.

[/quote]

You are wrong. They would be getting the exact same advice.

OP, I’m sensing that setting aside your birthday as a special day for you and DH to celebrate is significant because perhaps he’s not the most demonstrative in your daily life? Because I imagine that if you had a satisfying relationship with him in the day-to-day, perhaps it wouldn’t feel like such a loss not to be able  to observe your bday.

This is just the one-year anniversary...eventually you will be able to both mark his mother’s passing and celebrate your bday. My FIL passed on my SIL’s bday and years later she certainly celebrates her bday. At the one year mark it’s still too raw. If you really feel the need to do something special for your bday this year then I would gently ask DH if you can make a reservation a week later for a restaurant/movie.

But if reflect on why this is so important to you (i.e. the loss of your own mom, or possible sadness in the state of your own relationship, etc.) and do some self-care related to that.[/quote]

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