Reply to Gender 'disappointment' - how do I get over this?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, try to reframe this.

It's an absolute *gift* that you didn't get a boy.  It's a gift to you, and to your baby girl.

Whenever anyone wants a particular gender, there's always a reason or expectation attached to it.  People want girls because they want a close relationship with them like they had with their mom.  Or they want boys because they didn't have a close relationship with their mom.  Or they always imagined a girl following in their footsteps in ballet; and the Dad wants the boy to be an athlete like he was.  I've seen every reason imaginable in DCUM-land.

But think of the pressure you were already putting on yourself AND your future potential son, saying that you wanted to raise an exceptional boy to counterbalance the bad ones out there.

Think of the expectations you had, ready to disappoint you, because expectations pretty much always do.

You not getting what you want relieves you and that child of your extremely high expectations.

Instead, now you have a gift.  And the gift is the knowledge that you have very little control as a parent.  You can't control the gender.  You can't control the personality of the gender.  You can't even control the relationships that you might have with them down the road.

That's terrifying!  And also freeing.
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