Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s better to have same-sex siblings. Seriously.

I think that too. I have one of each. I am sad my daughter will not have a sister. I feel like two girls is ideal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s better to have same-sex siblings. Seriously.

Mom of 2 boys here and thank you for saying that. I sometimes think if my youngest had been a girl they wouldn't fight so much! Maybe that's not true

I also have two boys and agree with that poster. Yes they fight sometimes they are also best friends. They are attached at the hip whenever they are together. I know one of each is the societal ideal but in practice my friends who have it say it’s really not that great, especially when they’re elementary-middle age.

Anonymous wrote:i posted upthread but just wanted to tell you too - my brother in law had three girls. He now has five grandsons. HE is hands on grandpa and uncle to my sons.

My in-laws wanted a daughter but had two sons and decided against a third. They are super close to both me and BIL’s wife. They also have two granddaughters they are very close to.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s better to have same-sex siblings. Seriously.

Mom of 2 boys here and thank you for saying that. I sometimes think if my youngest had been a girl they wouldn't fight so much! Maybe that's not true

Honestly it’s better to have same-sex siblings. Seriously.

OP, try to reframe this.

It's an absolute *gift* that you didn't get a boy. It's a gift to you, and to your baby girl.

Whenever anyone wants a particular gender, there's always a reason or expectation attached to it. People want girls because they want a close relationship with them like they had with their mom. Or they want boys because they didn't have a close relationship with their mom. Or they always imagined a girl following in their footsteps in ballet; and the Dad wants the boy to be an athlete like he was. I've seen every reason imaginable in DCUM-land.

But think of the pressure you were already putting on yourself AND your future potential son, saying that you wanted to raise an exceptional boy to counterbalance the bad ones out there.

Think of the expectations you had, ready to disappoint you, because expectations pretty much always do.

You not getting what you want relieves you and that child of your extremely high expectations.

Instead, now you have a gift. And the gift is the knowledge that you have very little control as a parent. You can't control the gender. You can't control the personality of the gender. You can't even control the relationships that you might have with them down the road.

That's terrifying! And also freeing.

I think we should have figured out an easier way to pick gender by now. We choose everything else in life, why not that?

My SIL felt like you. She has a somewhat strained relationship with her mother (my MIL) and only wanted boys. She was disappointed that her second was a girl. Her relationship with her DD is not great either.

I am with the previous poster in that this has nothing to do with the sex of your children and everything to do with being only 6mo PP and wading through a lot of old emotional baggage from your childhood. Give yourself some grace, and see if you can talk to someone about your feelings. Hugs.

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm............ wait until your daughter tells you (at 19) that actually she is a he.

Then talk about feeling badly that you haven't raised a son.

See OP, it might not be too late to raise a boy.

Anonymous wrote:I just had my second and it was a boy (first was a girl) and reading this I’m just jealous of how much you like your husband.

(Also if it helps I have a wonderful relationship with my mom and my brother is the one who has tension with her so you really never know.)

lol!

i posted upthread but just wanted to tell you too - my brother in law had three girls. He now has five grandsons. HE is hands on grandpa and uncle to my sons.

I just had my second and it was a boy (first was a girl) and reading this I’m just jealous of how much you like your husband.

(Also if it helps I have a wonderful relationship with my mom and my brother is the one who has tension with her so you really never know.)

I have two boys with a third on the way and I hear you. In the end, as many people have noted, all humans are different and their sex is but a small part of who they are. Nothing in life is a guarantee. My mom and her sister don't talk despite having been raised in a loving family and they were best friends growing up. So, just raise your children to be good and decent human beings and encourage them to make their way in the world. Good luck and congratulations!!!

Anonymous wrote:Hugs to you OP. I have two little girls and they are the best of friends - yes they fight, but their relationship is so special. As the little one gets older, I hope you see how special the sister relationship is and that it is a gift that you have given them a sister in this world.

I have a sister and know what you mean. I have one of each, which is very nice in so many ways, but I do wish my daughter would experience a sister relationship and get sentimental thinking about that. Short of having two boys and two girls, I guess we can't all experience everything.