Reply to What do you owe a a bad elderly parent?

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[quote=Anonymous]I know you owe a bad parent nothing, yet at the same time, the way you treat your parents is setting up the model for the way your children will treat you when you are old and sick and a burden to their busy lives.

It's true that it's important to maintain your own mental health, but if you can form some sort of relationship with your old and sick parent, even if it's birthday cards and a bi-monthly phone call, it may be mentally useful to you.

nd you really should set an example to your children. Forgiveness is not acceptance of the bad behavior. It's moving on and dealing with the present and letting go of resentment that burdens you.

No, you "owe" your abusive parent nothing, but you owe it to yourself to decide what your obligations are, to draw the line, and accept that the person responsible for your existence on Earth may be someone you need to accept, terrible person or not.

It's not easy to forgive terrible parenting, but it may be worth it to you in the long run. And your kids are watching. Don't give them the message that turning your back on a parent in need is the best plan of action. You do have choices. Don't expect gratitude for doing the right thing. [/quote]

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