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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]About three years ago, two things happened. My husband stopped drinking and started adderall. Since then, he has withdrawn from our marriage and seems to actively dislike me. He seems suspicious of me, always thinks the worst of me, doesn’t want to spend time with me or have anything to do with me, gets mad very quickly and yells says disrespectful things to me. Any ideas on how I could turn things around?
[/quote]

sounds like he has internalized his shortcomings (adderall is supposed to address the ADD/Aspie) and blaming you. why you? because he can hide them from most people at work, or out, but not at home nor on the weekends or on a vacation. 
he hates himself, however if he is at the blaming, deflecting, verbal abuse stage with loved ones, he also hates you. He is hyper defensive, not interested in changing, and you need to full disassociate and continue to live with him, or leave. [b]You can protect the children better with full custody than by staying[/b]. [/quote]

OP here. I disagree with this which is why I haven't left. He'll get at least half custody. I can't do that to them. I feel like I can protect them better the way things are now. Anyone have any ideas on turning things around in the marriage?[/quote]

OP, I have the exact same situation. My husband eventually stopped the adderall bc he got tired of being so angry all of the time, on edge, and so different from what he recognized as himself. He was incredibly withdrawn, would stare at walls, and explode in. rage if we spoke to him. It also made him unable to get an erection. This alone has caused so much damaged to his psyche and our marriage.

After he stopped taking the medicine, things changed, but not that much.

It's now been five years.

We tried counseling 2x. We tried vacations without kids, family time, vacations with kids, you name it.

It's been hard to work through. I have settled into basically being a solo mom with a boarder husband who is sometimes around and mostly not. No sex obviously. No reliable commitment from him or partnership, and still pangs of anger. I myself have gone through quite a bit of depression. Am now sort of coming to terms with my life and trying to live it as best I can.

I wish you the best and hope you can find a better road than mine. Please take time to enjoy yourself, and also care for yourself along the way. [/quote]

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