Reply to paying for "extras" on top of child support

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[quote=Anonymous]OP,

In answer to your question, it is quite common for divorced parents to incorporate some language into their child support agreements about how much each party will pay for extra curricular activities.  It is common for language to be included about consulting one another before enrolling children in activities if those actvities may have obligations during both parents' "time."  It seems like you don't have this language in your agreements.  So your husband has no obligation to pay for these activities, but wants to and does because he thinks that his son should have these opportunities.  Good for him and good for you for supporting this.  By all means talk to your attorney about incorporating these payments in his total support outlay.  If it were me, I would not do that.  I would continue to operate the way your husband is now.  That way if he cannot afford to continue paying for an activity, he does not have a court ordered obligation to do so.

With regard to the issue about camps that your husband's ex has enrolled him in, I would respond thusly, "Dear Ex, I am thrilled that you have enrolled our son Eggbert in Underwater Basketweaving camp.  It sounds like fun for him.  You may take my portion of payment for camp out of my monthly support check which you receive in a timely manner on the 1st of each month.  As you know Mary Ann and myself have undertaken to pay for a number of extra curricular enrichment activities during the school year.  A copy of the receipts are attached so that you can verify the total amount of $XY.  As you did not discuss with me your wish to enroll him in this camp during a period of time which you will be off from work and not needing childcare, I have not budgeted an extra amount for camp.  Accordingly, I will not be forwarding a check.  I wholeheartedly support Underwater basketweaving camp and suggest that perhaps we can sit down and examine our schedules for next summer early in the season so that if you want to enroll him in such a camp next year, I can eliminate an extracurricular activity in order to share the cost of camp with you.  Sincerely, Your Ex-Husband"[/quote]

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