Reply to Surprise! Hosting Thanksgiving...how to balance?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, what are the formal elements that you like that your DH's family doesn't use? And which of those are most important to you?

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OP here. Thank you for the advice, all!

Most important to me:
-Using china (I only use it a few times a year, and I love it. My feeling is, why have it if you don't use it?)
-Homemade food (mostly; I am OK with a few things that are store-bought)
-No TV during the actual meal (though the suggestion to have it on but with volume off might be OK)

I am fine with people wearing whatever they want, but I am nervous that if they come in sweats or PJs and see the nice table and that DH and I are dressed a bit more nicely (I usually wear trousers and a blouse, and DH usually wears nice jeans and a sweater), they'll feel out of place. I don't want to tell anyone what to wear, but I also don't want them to feel like, "Hey, I would have dressed up if you told me!"[/quote]

This sounds normal to me-- your DH should be a little bit direct with his family that you're "doing it up" a bit. If they still come in sweatpants, be gracious, but wear what you would like to wear. When it's time to eat DH can let everyone know that dinner is ready, and when they come to the table, he can turn the tv off. 
Cook your homemade menu--everyone will love it. Homemade cranberry sauce, freshly made was a revelation to my family. They loved it. [/quote]

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