Reply to s/o no family nearby/giving birth alone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So there are frequently threads like the current one running about giving birth alone and how do people manage when there are no relatives nearby.  The standard DCUM answer is you have to build your village.  Yet right now there are also threads running about neighbors who don't want to have ANY interaction or people who refuse to chitchat at the bus stop. So how exactly are you supposed to build your network if neighbors don't want to engage and neither do parents of kids at your school or anyone else you frequently find yourself in proximity with?  Asking for a friend...[/quote]

Take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself why nobody wants to interact with you? We are friendly with a few neighbors but in a thousand years i would never want or ask them to attend my birth. what purpose would they have there? tell me to push, push? take photos? seriously?

If you feel someone other than you needs to advocate for you - hire a doula. [/quote]

I don't think OP (and the OP of the other thread that this spun off of) is wanting some random friend/neighbor [b]at the birth[/b].  If I remember correctly, the original thread was about OP needing to labor/deliver alone, because her DH would need to stay home with their 2 older children.

Our DD is nearly 4.  We moved to a community 2 years ago that seemed to be full of families with preschool/elementary age children, only to discover that most of the families are very insular.  There's little to no actual socializing amongst neighbors, even with those who have children the same age.  Everyone is involved in their own activities/jobs/lives/whatever.  The two families we were close to in the neighborhood have both recently relocated out of the area.  I have exactly one local friend I could call on and trust enough to watch my child in an emergency, and we have a babysitter we've used on occasion who might be available in a pinch.  I get where the OP is coming from with this.  I think it would be easier to build a village if I was a SAHM, but I'm not, so there's that complication, too.
[/quote]

I get it too.  Both DH and I are rather introverted (him especially) and many of my friends have moved in recent years (either further out to exurbs or out of area completely).  So I feel like I'm constantly trying to re-build a network and it's exhausting.  Our neighbors are nice but they all have their own "stuff" going on- e.g., one cares for elderly mom, one has a SN kid, a couple other houses are rentals so it's a revolving door of renters who we never really get to know.  Luckily by the time I was pregnant with #2 our oldest had been at the same daycare for over two years and we had gotten to know a couple of the other families.  DS was comfortable with both the kids and parents so it made sense to have them on our list to call if needed.  I was nervous to ask but they were happy to help (or at least they said they were- ha!).   We ended up having to call one of them in the middle of the night and they kept our kid most of the next day until my parents arrived.[/quote]

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