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[quote=Anonymous]Let me try:

[quote]We have tried separating them, offering and doing 1:1 activities with each of them (preplanned, not as a reward) but then the second they are together again it is just not stopped.[/quote]

We separate in our house -- not because it helps with the fighting when they're together, but because there is no fighting when they're not.  I enjoy my time with each of my kids 1:1 and connect with them.  It may not help the fighting, but it's good for the family overall when they have some time apart.

[quote]Larla might say "I like that blue pillow". Larlo says "its not blue its tourqois". I state that is a form of blue. He says "she is still wrong" and she ends up in tears.[/quote]

I wonder if he would respond to something like: "Larlo, you really know your shades of blue!  Can you teach Larla what the different shades are?  You're a good teacher and I know Larla is a fast learner."

[quote]Larlo will have Larla play Legos but then she will honestly accidentally break something (because 5) and he will yell and scream at her.
[/quote]

And here I would try: "Oh you're frustrated.  You were working really hard on that and now it's broken.  Let's practice how to handle your frustration in a kinder way."  Then coach him to say something like: "Larla, I'm so frustrated that you broke this!" or whatever.  Then comfort Larla and say: "I know you didn't mean to break that honey." and just give her a hug.

[quote]Larlo will be watching a movie in the family room and larla will bring on 10,000 toys and play in there annoying him (despite having 4 other bedrooms, a living room, playroom,a basement and an entire yard to play in).[/quote]

In this case, I would say to Larla: "Looks like you want to keep your brother company, but he's concentrating on his show right now.  Come with me into the (living room/ bed room / whatever) and let's give him some space."  Then I would physically enforce the space.  He deserves to have some time on his own and she needs to learn to respect thta.

[quote]It just never ever ends. If one says white the other demands black. It is exhausting.[/quote]

I hear you.  My boys are 2 and 4 and are at it all day.  It is one reason I was afraid to have 2 kids... I didn't want to be a referee all day long![/quote]

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