Reply to BIL's Wedding - Big Deal if Only DH Attends?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sending DH on his own is what many (most!) people with young children end up doing. Traveling for a wedding over a weekend is [b]too much for the under 5 crowd[/b].

Send your DH on his own. Neither one of you should apologize for this. You have you g kids. This is the stage of life that you are in. It is completely normal. [/quote]

No, it's not.  Only for princesses like yourself and OP.  Let me guess, none of you took a vacation for 5-6 years, right?[/quote]

It's a 3 hour time difference, since you couldn't be bothered to read the initial post.  Who wants to spend $$ to fly a family of 4 to CA or similar for a weekend?  In a similar situation, we declined.  It was rough on the one adult who attended.[/quote]

Yes, but it is family.  For anyone else, most of us would give you the pass you so desperately want.  But not for family, not even terrible family that you don't approve of.  Even a crappy family member is still family.  And bailing on his wedding is a good way to put the final nail in the coffin of any relationship between the brothers.  If you want to be the reason for the final straw that broke that family's back, go ahead.  Just don't expect approval for it.

My twins were 4 years old when my brother got married for the second time, and we dragged them along.  One of the best memories that we all have is my one son asleep on the pew in the front row of the church as his uncle got married.  He was tired and put his head down before the ceremony waiting for things to start.  He woke up just as the minister proclaimed them husband and wife.  So the recessional was the only part of the wedding he saw.  I have a great photo of him and the entire extended family love it.  And this wedding was not 3 hours off, but only 2 hours off in time zones, but we still went.

In your case, I would definitely appeal to your FIL that you can't afford air fare for the four of you and ask if he can buy plane tickets so that you all can attend.  You don't need babysitting for the wedding.  Your young children are family and there should be exceptions made for family and bridal party (you qualify as both) even if other children are excluded from the wedding.  You may have to do most of the child care keeping track of your kids for the day, but that shouldn't be that hard of a contribution to make.
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