Reply to I have no idea how to parent my 4 year old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He wants attention and he's figured out how to get lots of negative attention. Make him a deal: "go play in your room for 30 minutes and then you and I will have 15 minutes of uninterrupted play time." Then follow through and focus on him and only him for 15 minutes. [/quote]

+1 except for the make-a-deal part. 4 yr olds have no concept of time. So saying :go play for 30 minutes" can seem like an eternity to them (and therefore an unreasonable and impossible to do from their perspective)
 and ultamatims don't work well. It becomes a power struggle and you have too much pride to give-in and you get into a pissy mood which sets a bad tone and everything escalates b/c your 4 yr old doesn't understand...see how that quickly becomes a downward spiral.

How often are you "Go play while I do XYZ (check my phone)"? How much 1:1 attention does he get? How old is little brother? I'm guessing your 4 yr old is playing a bit of 2nd fiddle to his younger brother, no?

Trying to get some context.

Also, do you have a silly voice you can start using? Sounds odd, but I use it a lot. In a silly voice I'll say "Larlo, hey, dude, don't turn off the lights. I can't see where I'm going. Yikes, I going to walk into the wall . Ouch. Now I'm walking into the door. Ouch"...something to that effect. So instead of punishing, getting annoyed, yelling, etc. you spin it around so they listen. You become relatable and grab their attention instead of being mean-mommy who seems to have it out for you. 
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