Reply to Forcing Adopted Asian Child to have Bat Mitzvah when Child Does not Want It

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Reply to "Forcing Adopted Asian Child to have Bat Mitzvah when Child Does not Want It"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was also wondering the same. Why mention that the kid is adopted, what does this have to do with bat mitzvah[/quote]

When you go through the adoption process the social worker wants to make sure you will preserve the child's cultural identity as much as possible. The child's culture is supposed to supersede the parent's.[/quote]
That never happens
An adopted child belongs to the family that adopted. You do not get a foreign child, the child is your very own

There is no way to preserve a cultural identity that you have never been part of. You could have awareness of the culture.[/quote]

Exactly. I have three children through international adoption. I have never been told by a social worker that my child’s cultural identity should supersede my own. I would t even know how to run my house since we’d have three different cultures, each with top priority.

As far as the original issue, I think as parents we force our kids to do a lot of things they dont want because we believe it is best for our child. This is no different. I am not Jewish and wouldn’t pretend that I fully understand the importance of a bat mitzvah. So I can’t say what I would do in the situation. But it sounds like her parents are acting out of love and that they know how their daughter feels. In the end it’s their decision and now that OP has said her piece, she needs to step back and let her nieces parents parent their child. [/quote]

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