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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's hard to speak for everyone, but I personally wouldn't throw that out unless I had truly considered it an option. So therefore, it would really scare me if my partner threw it out because I'd assume that meant they had considered it, and that really sucks. [/quote]

I was thinking the same thing.  
I would take a look at myself and try to figure out what I was doing that was pushing him to the nuclear reaction.

Threatening hundreds of times is one thing.  That’s on him.  
But threatening every two years probably [b]means that I am doing something deeply upsetting to him, and I need to figure out what that is.  [/quote][/b]

No. Just no.  Please do not blame the victim.  Threats of divorce repeatedly in a marriage are not normal.  They are a form of emotional abuse and, probably, are being accompanied by other kinds of emotional abuse.

There is no reason for an adult human being to subject him/herself to this kind of emotional terrorism.  It is designed to keep the victim unstable and "in line".  To teach them to walk on eggshells and constantly be monitoring their own behavior for fear of "upsetting" the spouse.  This kind of emotional control is a part of domestic abuse.  Emotional abuse often progresses to physical abuse.  I wish someone had told me that -- before my now Ex threatened to beat the crap out of me, he softened engaged in emotional abuse that was designed to make me think that *I* was responsible for his anger.  But, as adults, we are each responsible for our own behavior.

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I don’t see why a divorce from this person would even be a threat.  Why would you want to be married to him?  He sounds terrible.

I am going to assume that the person threatening is kind and thoughtful and an otherwise good person that you like being married to.    
But maybe you are an alcoholic and they want you to go to rehab.  Or you cheated, but you didn’t think it was a big deal.  Or you refused to go to marriage counseling.  Or you refuse to get treatment for your mental illness and you are making everyone else miserable.  Or you have an unhealthy and enmeshed relationship with your mom.  
These are the kinds of things that I can see coming up during a marriage that lead to one person considering divorce every few years, resolving enough to stay together, then resurfacing in a new way.  
It is manipulative in that the person threatening is trying to get the other person to change or fall into line, but I’m not sure that’s always bad.  
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