Reply to Pet peeve- your kid is not “too smart” he is just poorly behaved

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my experience the people who say this stuff are actually trying to talk and negotiate with 3 year olds like they’re adults. It never ends and of course it’s exhausting. Usually they don’t realize how ridiculous they’re being. It is what it is. [/quote]

now that my kid is older and we’ve gotten parenting therapy for other issues, I’ve really seen how BAD so many people are at parenting. I don’t blame them. it’s hard to do properly and nobody really teaches it. Most of the popular culture on parenting encourages parents to be really permissive and ineffective. [/quote]

Can you give us some tidbits that you've learned in your parenting therapy?  Sometimes I feel like I'm being really bad at parenting when my kid is acting up and I don't know if I should be bringing down the iron fist and making sure he knows who is boss, distracting him in hopes he'll forget about his outburst and move on, giving in because I realize halfway through his yelling that his request was pretty reasonable and I don't actually care if he does XYZ that he's asking to do.... I just feel like I need to be consistent and I suck.[/quote]

it’s really 95% consistency! And knowing how to properly administer positive and negative incentives. And ignoring as much as you can.[/quote]

also - if your kid doesn’t have anything else going on, chances are whatever you are doing is fine! But if you want to shape behavior in any way (which seemed more important to me when I really wanted my child to learn chores) you may have to be more deliberate. [/quote]

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