Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s tongue-in-cheek, OP. Are you humor challenged?

It's SOMETIMES tongue-in-cheek; definitely not always. It's sometimes bravado to cover insecurity and feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness. It's defensive in the extreme.

Like when a few parents have observed my children, and their kids aren't even around and/are aren't even acting out, but they proactively say how "Billy can NEVER be that quiet and calm; his mind is just always whirring, and he's SO ACTIVE and blah blah blah..."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience the people who say this stuff are actually trying to talk and negotiate with 3 year olds like they’re adults. It never ends and of course it’s exhausting. Usually they don’t realize how ridiculous they’re being. It is what it is.

now that my kid is older and we’ve gotten parenting therapy for other issues, I’ve really seen how BAD so many people are at parenting. I don’t blame them. it’s hard to do properly and nobody really teaches it. Most of the popular culture on parenting encourages parents to be really permissive and ineffective.

Can you give us some tidbits that you've learned in your parenting therapy? Sometimes I feel like I'm being really bad at parenting when my kid is acting up and I don't know if I should be bringing down the iron fist and making sure he knows who is boss, distracting him in hopes he'll forget about his outburst and move on, giving in because I realize halfway through his yelling that his request was pretty reasonable and I don't actually care if he does XYZ that he's asking to do.... I just feel like I need to be consistent and I suck.

it’s really 95% consistency! And knowing how to properly administer positive and negative incentives. And ignoring as much as you can.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience the people who say this stuff are actually trying to talk and negotiate with 3 year olds like they’re adults. It never ends and of course it’s exhausting. Usually they don’t realize how ridiculous they’re being. It is what it is.

now that my kid is older and we’ve gotten parenting therapy for other issues, I’ve really seen how BAD so many people are at parenting. I don’t blame them. it’s hard to do properly and nobody really teaches it. Most of the popular culture on parenting encourages parents to be really permissive and ineffective.

Can you give us some tidbits that you've learned in your parenting therapy? Sometimes I feel like I'm being really bad at parenting when my kid is acting up and I don't know if I should be bringing down the iron fist and making sure he knows who is boss, distracting him in hopes he'll forget about his outburst and move on, giving in because I realize halfway through his yelling that his request was pretty reasonable and I don't actually care if he does XYZ that he's asking to do.... I just feel like I need to be consistent and I suck.

Anonymous wrote:It’s probably that the mom is So powerfully dumb, that even a three year old is gifted in comparison. Seriously! What grown ass woman would let a three year old dominate her?!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience the people who say this stuff are actually trying to talk and negotiate with 3 year olds like they’re adults. It never ends and of course it’s exhausting. Usually they don’t realize how ridiculous they’re being. It is what it is.

now that my kid is older and we’ve gotten parenting therapy for other issues, I’ve really seen how BAD so many people are at parenting. I don’t blame them. it’s hard to do properly and nobody really teaches it. Most of the popular culture on parenting encourages parents to be really permissive and ineffective.

Anonymous wrote:In my experience the people who say this stuff are actually trying to talk and negotiate with 3 year olds like they’re adults. It never ends and of course it’s exhausting. Usually they don’t realize how ridiculous they’re being. It is what it is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid had a friend who was terribly behaved when mom was around. She'd always say, in front of her kid and mine, that his behavior was understandable because he was gifted. Sometimes, if we both asked our kids to do something, like get out of the pool for adult swim on a pool playdate, and mine did and hers didn't, she'd say something like "I guess there are some advantages to not being so smart". Now, I fully admit that my kid is not gifted, but I don't think the fact that he follows directions is evidence of such.

OP- this is exactly what I mean! Like no, the fact that your kid won’t follow a lifeguard instructions doesn’t mean they are “just too smart for this!” It means they are poorly behaved

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you want her to do, OP? Parenting kids with behavior problems isn’t easy.

Parents who are constantly yelling at their three year olds and talking about how ashamed they are of their child’s behavior are at least as irritating as those who try to put a positive spin on it.

Just tell your friend that it’s fine that her kid didn’t get out of the pool and move on.

I never implied that it wasn't fine. But describing my kid as not smart because he did get out of the pool, when he is right there listening, isn't cool. And it's not putting a positive spin or your own child's behavior to disparage another kid in that way.

So this is basically a sour grapes post, then, OP. Jealous much?!

I'm not the OP, I'm the PP who she presumably was talking to with the "tell your friend that it's fine that her kid didn't get out of the pool . . ". because OP never mentioned a pool.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you want her to do, OP? Parenting kids with behavior problems isn’t easy.

Parents who are constantly yelling at their three year olds and talking about how ashamed they are of their child’s behavior are at least as irritating as those who try to put a positive spin on it.

Just tell your friend that it’s fine that her kid didn’t get out of the pool and move on.

I never implied that it wasn't fine. But describing my kid as not smart because he did get out of the pool, when he is right there listening, isn't cool. And it's not putting a positive spin or your own child's behavior to disparage another kid in that way.

So this is basically a sour grapes post, then, OP. Jealous much?!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you want her to do, OP? Parenting kids with behavior problems isn’t easy.

Parents who are constantly yelling at their three year olds and talking about how ashamed they are of their child’s behavior are at least as irritating as those who try to put a positive spin on it.

Just tell your friend that it’s fine that her kid didn’t get out of the pool and move on.

I never implied that it wasn't fine. But describing my kid as not smart because he did get out of the pool, when he is right there listening, isn't cool. And it's not putting a positive spin or your own child's behavior to disparage another kid in that way.