Reply to Quit career/job due to husband’s disorders?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP - It would seem that if your husband is on medication, that it is not working and needs to be tweaked so I would make it a primary goal to get him to his psychiatrist for an evaluation of his present state, but trying an approach which will work with him.  Probably best to start to see if medication will get his system in a better pattern and possibly make him more amenable to some therapy.  The need for medication or a reevaluation seems to be the most pressing things that he might do for himself.

In your situation, I would try to set up your work day as if you were a single parent and right now while he has the high earnings especially, just put them in an excellent day care program to cover the hours that you work — all the hours so there is little need to involve your husband.  If he objects, just say that your re doing this to reduce his stress level on the family end AND for the children’s safety.  I do not see a sitter working out too well in the home if he has such obnoxious behaviors.  If your kids are safe, then your stress at work should be lessened.  Folks would also say to outsource things if you can such as gettting a person or service to clean the house, hire a yard service.

At the same time, it is time for you to get at least one credit card in your own name to establish some separate credit.  Also, you should find a way to get a savings account in your own name and perhaps have monthly reports come to via a separate email account so he would not be aware of it.  It would also be wise for you to be fully informed about your family’s finances so that you can tell if he is over charging or over spending on things you do not know about.  It might be wise for you to at least speak with a lawyer to understand your rights and how one would proceed if you do feel the mental health stressors increase.

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