Reply to Neighborhood 7th grade girls house- popular and un supervised- ok for outside fun?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Time for your son to be so busy with his own activities that the "hang out doing nothing with neighbor teens" stuff ends for good. He's old enough that between taking school seriously and engaging in extracurricular activities, he no longer has time for nonsense like wanting to hang out this way. Before slack DCUM "let them be kids, don't overschedule them" parents chime in: This boy is 14 and that's time to be in school clubs, trying new things whether it's robotics club or drama or band or art, a sport, volunteering, whatever.

[b]OP, you seem not to know that the situation you describe is a perfect breeding ground for these young teens trying alcohol, weed, whatever, and experimenting sexually. This is THE age and stage for that, and the household you describe is an almost movie-script version of the ideal setting. You may react that YOUR son wouldn't do those things, your son has better sense, etc. but OP, that's what every one of these parents of these kids is thinking. Don't put the temptation directly in his way by letting him go there.[/b]

And the dad (despite being a crappy parent) was crystal clear--no going there unless invited. That did not mean "invited by my absentee teen or by other friends." You know it meant "by me, a parent." That translates to "never."

Step up now. Son needs other friends and other activities that are constructive. Only a few years before college -- time to get him a better peer group and better use of his time.

If he complains that he's being punished for other kids' misbehavior in damaging the pool--yes! He is. This is life. You and the dad have no idea who really damaged it so ALL the kids now have to stay away. Son needs to hear that when you hang out in places you should not be, things happen that will tar you with the same brush as everyone else. He, and you too OP, seem not to realize he was incredibly lucky the dad didn't start demanding families pay for the pool damage, at a minimum.

Please stop worrying about your son's social life and get him away from this "friend" group. Don't say it in those words. Just ensure he joins activities that keep him busy all school year long, and forbid that house, period, invitation or not.

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NP. I grew up in this area in the 90s and there was a house EXACTLY like what the OP describes. It was a magnet for teens 14+. Sometimes there were considerably older "kids" there-- as in, late teens to early 20s, who were friends of the older sibling who was supposed to be in charge. The bolded is precisely what was going on and even good kids got caught up in the scene sometimes. I know this firsthand. I am not a helicopter parent and am probably more lax about a lot of stuff than most people on this board, but I can state without hesitation that I would NOT let my kids visit a house like what OP describes. The PP is spot on. This scene never ends well.[/quote]

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