Reply to people always telling my kid he's smart

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just switch it around to “he works hard” whenever he hears that he’s smart. Don’t compliment the outcome, compliment the method of getting there. If he reads well and the teacher says he’s smart, say something like, he’s been practicing really hard since he was in preschool. It’s not contradicting the compliment, but showing that there was effort involved. He’ll hear that your praising him and his work ethic. 
 [/quote]

oh this is a great suggestion - thanks! [/quote]

No, no, no. If you say "he works hard" and he actually isn't working hard because he actually is really smart and doesn't quite understand why others have to work so hard at things that are easy, then he is hearing you lying about him and this will mess him up. He may also fail to understand what hard work is if you keep calling his zero effort "hard work." Teaching a kid the difference between innate intelligence and hard work does not mean you pretend he isn't smart, or that you downplay his gift as if it is northing, or something embarrassing, or worse, that is simply isn't true. If he is smart, own it, but make sure he knows that to whom much is given, much is expected. Make sure he knows he is expected to do the work even when it is easy or boring, and to work hard when something doesn't come easy. Be prepared for the set back that typically comes in middle school or 9th grade, when he actually needs to put forth an effort to learn. Teach him kindness and not to be conceited. Celebrate your child for who he is. You can do that without making him a brat.[/quote]

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