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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
The emotional responsiveness and negotiations are too much work you don't need right now. It's either they listen and follow directions, or punishment happens right away. Crack the whip, OP, because if they get to teenage years without healthy respect for you, it's going to be far worse then.

[/quote]

OP, I very much feel for you. I don’t even have 3 or stay home but have many days where I just can’t get past how hard everything is. (Relationship problems in my case add significant stress to the parenting and working and general “adulting” [hate that word but it’s accurate here] type of stuff).

I will say that while I do try to be mindful and respectful of my kids’ feelings and autonomy and personhood, we just don’t tolerate certain behavior. Refusal to clean up toys equals me getting the garbage bag and telling DC if they aren’t going to clean up then the toys will be given to less fortunate kids who will take care of their nice things. I also routinely take away the (small amount! I swear, DCUM!) screen time we allow and we do timeouts. My kids’ father is very strict in this regard and while I grew up with zero discipline and it often seems mean to me...it freaking works. Older DC (5) is generally very well-behaved. Jury’s out on the younger-sibling wildcard as he’s only 16 months but already stubborn as can be. But even he gets stern “NO!”s and removal from situations and basically forced through the motions of cleaning up when he refuses.

Are you getting any treatment for anxiety? It’s best if you can get therapy but in your case I might just tell my primary care doc that I’m going through an exceptionally bad period of anxiety and panic attacks, can’t sleep due to racing thoughts, and ask if they can prescribe something to help. Generic Xanax is much cheaper than a weekly copay for therapy and I’d put the money toward help cleaning and getting a local teen to help out a few hours a day. I see many of them advertising their services in the neighborhood Facebook groups. [/quote]

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