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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you so much for sharing, and hugs to all of you. I've never told anyone because I come from a 'good' background and have a stable and happy life, and I doubt anyone would believe me if I described even a fraction of what I went through.

I was thinking the other day about how almost everyone I interact with has no idea, and whether I would know if one of my friends had had similar experiences ('abuse-dar' for lack of a better term). One follow-up - do any of you who responded think you can sense when someone else has had similar experiences? I know I wonder when someone speaks coldly of their parents.

I worry about whether I'll be able to keep hiding it when my parents die (particularly my mother). I am bracing for the day I have to 'act' like a grieving daughter (with deep apologies for this comment to those of you who lost parents you loved and grieved them). [/quote]

I have a few friends mostly from large families like mine who I suspect abuse.  They will sometimes refer to confusion in family and brought themselves up with no help from parents.  Even though I suspect, I never ask or offer my own story.  I really don’t want to discuss it or share that sad part of my life. It may be that I would not trust anyone to keep my secret. I have moved on, will never forget, but it is still sad for me today when I see what others have accomplished with family love and support.  I am there 24/7 for my own grown children and grandchildren!

I would not worry about your reaction when your parents pass. No one will judge you, everyone grieves or not grieves differently. You have been through so much and made it.  Just go through the motions and get through the day or two of mourning .  Offer nothing and say thank you for coming to guests. End of the day—— you are done and it is truly over. You survived.  Take care of you. Peace.[/quote]

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