Reply to If you were neglected or abused as a child

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "If you were neglected or abused as a child"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Growing up, I never said a word to a single person. In hindsight, I have no doubt teachers and friends' parents knew - how could they not suspect especially when one of my brother's was beaten too badly to participate in PE?  There's also only so many doors you can run into.

I was able to escape by going to college but it wasn't until after I graduated college (my dad killed himself while I was in college) and I moved overseas that I was able to start to decompress and really start to understand what had happened to me and my siblings.  I became far less guarded and less ashamed.  DH knows about it - although he didn't really 'get' it until I began describing specific events while we were in relationship counseling. He was pushing me to have more of a relationship with my mother and thought I was being unreasonable.  He was shocked and struggled to reconcile his perceptions of how my mother is today with the mother I had growing up.

My kids also know how I grew up.  I never hid it from them because I want to make sure they understand what abuse is, the cycle of abuse, how you can't tell what goes on behind closed doors and to know that 'love' isn't enough.  Under no circumstances is abuse justified.  Conflict and anger do not have to be abusive.  I also want them to be sensitive to challenges other kids may have that they are not aware of - for instance, I am always willing to give a friend a ride and anytime anyone wants to sleep over/eat, they are welcome.  My kids are teenagers now and I have no doubt some of their friends are coming from less than supportive homes. One kid spent nearly a week with us over the summer.

I'm fairly good at picking up on dysfunctional behaviors/relationships.  Better than most but certainly not omniscient.  I don't talk about the abuse in my childhood much because it just doesn't come up in typical conversation. But, I'm no longer ashamed of it.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics