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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It all depends on what the "hard time" is all about. The kid may well be reacting to the hard time, you know?
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This was my immediate thought. A 9-year-old girl knows enough, and might feel that she is the object of a favor, which means she is a burden to her mother and so to you. I was this kid for a while when my family suffered a trauma. Even when it was my best friend's parent, whose house I spent most of my childhood plying at, my feeling changed when I knew they were accommodating my family due to the tragedy. I felt very, very different about being there due to my family's need, than I did as an invited friend who could have declined the invitation or reciprocated it.

Show her she isn't a burden and that you want her there. Try to break through her defenses and see if you can make her feel welcome. Awkward as it may seem, perhaps if there is something she can do for you (that she would want to do), a way that you need her too, it might help. Or if you move out of the house/sitting situation every now and then, like going to a movie where it feels more normal and even.  I would also say, don't coddle or patronize or excuse bad behavior, but empathize.[/quote]

Also my thought. [/quote]

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