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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So I have a creepy uncle who many years ago when drunk got very touchy feely with me and made sexually inappropriate comments-this happened on two occasions (one worse and more prolonged than the other) when I was in my late 20's/early 30's (I'm in my 40's now-this occurred about 15 years ago). For various reasons, I told no one-the only person who knew about it at the time was my sister because she witnessed one of the incidents. Since then I have largely been able to avoid him aside from brief pleasantries at family events. At this point, he's an ill, elderly man. Honestly, I highly doubt he even remembers doing it. He has a history of infidelity and was apparently sexually inappropriate with a housekeeper once-I would bet money there have been others as well. When he was a younger man, he was very professionally successful and I would imagine because of that he got away with quite a bit-it was a different era. I ended up telling my husband about it relatively recently because he wondered why I have such an aversion to him (my uncle). Other than that, no one knows and I plan on keeping it that way. At this point, it would just bring other family members (primarily his wife and children) pain plus who knows if I would even be believed.

He is one of my father's brothers. Obviously I'm not close to him. I'm also not close to his wife or children although I don't have any personal issues with them-we just aren't close for various reasons (they live in a different part of the country, I don't have much in common with them, etc). My sister is close with one of his daughters-they are the same age and share interests-because of that, she is closer to the family than me. He's very ill at this point and I know this may sound odd but I'm wondering what I should do when he passes away. I really don't want to go to the funeral but feel like if I don't it's going to reflect badly on me and I'll have to deal with family judgement. Still, the thought of having to go makes me sick. I can't stand him. I know he's elderly and ill now but it doesn't erase who he was. In addition (and to make a very long story short), my father is also a very difficult person and honestly the less I spend with that side of the family the happier I am.

I know I'm jumping the gun with this and he could live for many more years (it may not even be an issue...he could outlive me-who knows) but I heard recently that he wasn't doing well and it made me think about how I'm going to handle it when the time comes.

Any thoughts or feedback would be appreciated-thanks! [/quote]

He's an uncle you weren't close to. Send a card to his family and stay home.  If you can't stand the thought of it reflecting badly on you then you miraculously get violently ill on the day you're supposed to travel/go to the funeral.[/quote]

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