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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry, OP - this board is harsh when it comes to people with a $130-170K income (despite the rest of DCUM insisting that anyone making under $200K is poor in this area).  We're in a similar situation but with 2 kids in elementary, a slightly lower income, and a lower mortgage because we bought in 2010.  But it's still tight and we don't have enough in either retirement or college savings (although we will have a federal pension).  We're looking at a less expensive house but the reality is that there is not much available at a lower price point that is in decent shape, with a decent commute, and in a decent school district.  I don't have any answers, just sympathy.[/quote]
+1
Also OP you did not say how much you have in child #1's account and which state you are in.
I would agree that your best option (as it is for most donut hole families in this very high COL area) is in state.  In Maryland the flagship university (UMD-CP) costs around $25K a year for tuition, room and board.  It is getting harder to get in however so you do have to be realistic about this.  You will get a clearer sense of how likely your child is to gain admittance to your state's flagship university once they are in high school and you have high school grades and some standardized test scores to look at.  If you are confident your child would like to attend in state and has a good chance of being admitted, you might want to consider purchasing a prepaid tuition plan.  If you are already managing to pay for daycare you could transfer those funds to cover R and B for dc #1 (assuming dc#3 would be out of daycare by then) so your 529 funds would only need to cover tuition which would be approximately $50K for four years.  Does that sound doable?
I would agree that you have to talk to your child about in state probably being the default choice.  This is the financial reality for most people earning between $100-200K in the DMV who bought a home after the year 2000.
The other option would be to look at all the threads about how to secure merit based aid (since you are unlikely to get much need based aid).  Bottom line you need to search for colleges which are a tier below your child's stats and see if they are generous with merit based aid.  
I personally would not allow my child to take any loans for their undergraduate degree.  We have managed to save enough for in state and that feels great!  I think you should be able to do the same which is wonderful when you consider you have three children.
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