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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let her have her feelings.  Imagine that you had really wanted a girl and learned that your baby would be a boy.  Might you feel disappointed?  And yet, you would love the baby when it was born, right?  And if someone attacked you for wanting a girl, you'd (rightly) say that you had a right to your feelings, and that you just needed to process them over time.  So extend your mom that same grace.  This doesn't have to be a thing unless you make it one.

If she makes any other comments about the gender, just say, "Mom, I'm just thrilled to finally be having a baby.  I'm sorry you're disappointed, but I'm not the right person to complain to, because I'm over the moon to be pregnant at all."  And then change the subject or end the conversation.

The world would be a better place if people didn't feel the need to police each other's feelings.  [/quote]

The "everyone can have their feelings" people really annoy me.  That's true, but OP has a right to have her feelings hurt by the fact her mom was inconsiderate.

Also, I have a strong suspicion this position is taken by people who frequently lack the basic social skills to understand the correct response to hearing about a baby's gender is to congratulate the parent and say something nice.  It isn't that hard.[/quote]

Bingo. And the "disappointment" over not getting a granddaughter is objectively less painful than the struggle OP had to go through in order to have a child at all.
Grandmother can quietly, secretly, have desired a granddaughter. She should also know that there was always going to be a 50-50 chance that her daughter was going to tell her it was a boy. Grandmother should have prepared for that and been ready to be nothing but happy when she got the news from OP. If she wants to go off later, and share her disappointment with husband, a friend, whatever, then she can do that.
People can have feelings. Grownups can be mature enough to find appropriate outlets for those feelings.

OP, Congratulations on your baby! [/quote]

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