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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m disappointed but we have already decided to move clubs anyway.  My son has no idea he was put on a lower team and since we won’t be back I don’t want to tell him.  My concern right now is that he’s playing in a tournament this weekend and all the parents will ask me where he placed.  I don’t want to say. Please tell me how I can avoid this question.  What can I say?[/quote]

Hey, snowplow parent, let your kid know he had a minor setback.  Not only do you not want to tell him, you want to devise schemes to avoid telling anyone.  In addition to inappropriately shielding your kid from slight disappointment, you're sending a terrible message about dealing with things head on.  [/quote]

Please be nice. It’s understandable that any parent would want to shield their child from disappointment but the fact that OP is asking advice shows that s/he just wants to do what’s best for their son.

OP, it’s better IMO to tell him and have a frank convo with the coach to find out why. I’m sure the coach will be gentle in his delivery with your child present and will encourage him to work on specific things. This will give him a roadmap to improve and increase his resiliency. As for answering other parent inquiries about what team your son will be on, just let them know you’re moving him to his older brother’s club I.e., the truth. They don’t need to know more than that bc frankly it’s none of their business and anything else only feeds the rumor mill. Gossiping and nasty talk about other people’s kids is just gross so don’t give them ammunition. [/quote]

This (and the earlier post that advised similar) is good advice.

I would go further and say it is critical that you tell your son he wasn't selected for the top team yourself.  If he ever finds out later,  and then finds out that you knew and didn't tell him, you will lose some trust with him,  and you don't want that.

That doesn't mean you have to say you agree with it, unless you do.   We are not in a stats based sport. Player evaluations are very subjective, and different coaches will see things differently.

Lucas Moura was not good enough for PSG.  He just scored a 2nd half hatrick in the Champions League semis to propel his team to the finals.   Does that mean PSG were wrong?  He should start over Neymar or Mbappe?

That's soccer (life).  Every player (person) at some point in time is going to be rejected for something they really want - told they aren't good enough.

It's how they respond that matters. [/quote]
Well said.[/quote]

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