Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 23:08     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Since when is 'aggression' the key metric in evaluating a player? Only in garbage US soccer leagues and clubs.


Right, because you see lots of great athletes in any sport that aren't aggressive.
Troll somewhere else please.


DC’s coach said s/he didn’t make the top team because s/he wasn’t aggressive enough on 50-50 balls. Maybe there were other things but that’s what was communicated to us.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 23:06     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m disappointed but we have already decided to move clubs anyway. My son has no idea he was put on a lower team and since we won’t be back I don’t want to tell him. My concern right now is that he’s playing in a tournament this weekend and all the parents will ask me where he placed. I don’t want to say. Please tell me how I can avoid this question. What can I say?


Hey, snowplow parent, let your kid know he had a minor setback. Not only do you not want to tell him, you want to devise schemes to avoid telling anyone. In addition to inappropriately shielding your kid from slight disappointment, you're sending a terrible message about dealing with things head on.


Please be nice. It’s understandable that any parent would want to shield their child from disappointment but the fact that OP is asking advice shows that s/he just wants to do what’s best for their son.

OP, it’s better IMO to tell him and have a frank convo with the coach to find out why. I’m sure the coach will be gentle in his delivery with your child present and will encourage him to work on specific things. This will give him a roadmap to improve and increase his resiliency. As for answering other parent inquiries about what team your son will be on, just let them know you’re moving him to his older brother’s club I.e., the truth. They don’t need to know more than that bc frankly it’s none of their business and anything else only feeds the rumor mill. Gossiping and nasty talk about other people’s kids is just gross so don’t give them ammunition.


This (and the earlier post that advised similar) is good advice.

I would go further and say it is critical that you tell your son he wasn't selected for the top team yourself. If he ever finds out later, and then finds out that you knew and didn't tell him, you will lose some trust with him, and you don't want that.

That doesn't mean you have to say you agree with it, unless you do. We are not in a stats based sport. Player evaluations are very subjective, and different coaches will see things differently.

Lucas Moura was not good enough for PSG. He just scored a 2nd half hatrick in the Champions League semis to propel his team to the finals. Does that mean PSG were wrong? He should start over Neymar or Mbappe?

That's soccer (life). Every player (person) at some point in time is going to be rejected for something they really want - told they aren't good enough.

It's how they respond that matters.

Well said.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 23:05     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Since when is 'aggression' the key metric in evaluating a player? Only in garbage US soccer leagues and clubs.


Depends on what the poster means by “aggression.” If they mean pushing, lots of physical contact for its own sake, etc, then you’re right, this shouldn’t be valued in any kids club as a key metric. I don’t think this is what the poster meant though. They probably meant willingness to pressure, intercept passes, in general get in the scrum to force turnover. This IS a key metric although willingness to draw out the pass and open space is often subordinate unfortunately

Fair point. I take it to mean consistently initiating (or being willing to) contact, but maybe that's not what the previous posters are referring to.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 22:49     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m disappointed but we have already decided to move clubs anyway. My son has no idea he was put on a lower team and since we won’t be back I don’t want to tell him. My concern right now is that he’s playing in a tournament this weekend and all the parents will ask me where he placed. I don’t want to say. Please tell me how I can avoid this question. What can I say?


Hey, snowplow parent, let your kid know he had a minor setback. Not only do you not want to tell him, you want to devise schemes to avoid telling anyone. In addition to inappropriately shielding your kid from slight disappointment, you're sending a terrible message about dealing with things head on.


Please be nice. It’s understandable that any parent would want to shield their child from disappointment but the fact that OP is asking advice shows that s/he just wants to do what’s best for their son.

OP, it’s better IMO to tell him and have a frank convo with the coach to find out why. I’m sure the coach will be gentle in his delivery with your child present and will encourage him to work on specific things. This will give him a roadmap to improve and increase his resiliency. As for answering other parent inquiries about what team your son will be on, just let them know you’re moving him to his older brother’s club I.e., the truth. They don’t need to know more than that bc frankly it’s none of their business and anything else only feeds the rumor mill. Gossiping and nasty talk about other people’s kids is just gross so don’t give them ammunition.


This (and the earlier post that advised similar) is good advice.

I would go further and say it is critical that you tell your son he wasn't selected for the top team yourself. If he ever finds out later, and then finds out that you knew and didn't tell him, you will lose some trust with him, and you don't want that.

That doesn't mean you have to say you agree with it, unless you do. We are not in a stats based sport. Player evaluations are very subjective, and different coaches will see things differently.

Lucas Moura was not good enough for PSG. He just scored a 2nd half hatrick in the Champions League semis to propel his team to the finals. Does that mean PSG were wrong? He should start over Neymar or Mbappe?

That's soccer (life). Every player (person) at some point in time is going to be rejected for something they really want - told they aren't good enough.

It's how they respond that matters.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 21:58     Subject: Re:My kid dropped from A to B
I know how it feels, but it is really ok. My DC was even demoted from A to B at beginning of the new season. DC still managed to play at higher level in later years.

Support your kid and find good supplement training if he/she wants. A or B at young age doesn't matter at all.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 21:51     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
What if playing on the lower team is actually better for him? If he actually likes soccer, it will be motivation to improve on his skills, be a key member of the team, and build confidence.

If he is not legitimately at least on the average skill level of the team of the top team, playing for them will only bring animosity from the other players, regret from the Coach that he picked him, and a low amount of playing time. In that case the only up side is you get to tell your friends at cocktail parties that he is on the top team.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 18:11     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
Anonymous wrote:Since when is 'aggression' the key metric in evaluating a player? Only in garbage US soccer leagues and clubs.


Depends on what the poster means by “aggression.” If they mean pushing, lots of physical contact for its own sake, etc, then you’re right, this shouldn’t be valued in any kids club as a key metric. I don’t think this is what the poster meant though. They probably meant willingness to pressure, intercept passes, in general get in the scrum to force turnover. This IS a key metric although willingness to draw out the pass and open space is often subordinate unfortunately
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 17:46     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
Anonymous wrote:Since when is 'aggression' the key metric in evaluating a player? Only in garbage US soccer leagues and clubs.


Right, because you see lots of great athletes in any sport that aren't aggressive.
Troll somewhere else please.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 17:45     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
Since when is 'aggression' the key metric in evaluating a player? Only in garbage US soccer leagues and clubs.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 17:10     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m disappointed but we have already decided to move clubs anyway. My son has no idea he was put on a lower team and since we won’t be back I don’t want to tell him. My concern right now is that he’s playing in a tournament this weekend and all the parents will ask me where he placed. I don’t want to say. Please tell me how I can avoid this question. What can I say?


Hey, snowplow parent, let your kid know he had a minor setback. Not only do you not want to tell him, you want to devise schemes to avoid telling anyone. In addition to inappropriately shielding your kid from slight disappointment, you're sending a terrible message about dealing with things head on.


Please be nice. It’s understandable that any parent would want to shield their child from disappointment but the fact that OP is asking advice shows that s/he just wants to do what’s best for their son.

OP, it’s better IMO to tell him and have a frank convo with the coach to find out why. I’m sure the coach will be gentle in his delivery with your child present and will encourage him to work on specific things. This will give him a roadmap to improve and increase his resiliency. As for answering other parent inquiries about what team your son will be on, just let them know you’re moving him to his older brother’s club I.e., the truth. They don’t need to know more than that bc frankly it’s none of their business and anything else only feeds the rumor mill. Gossiping and nasty talk about other people’s kids is just gross so don’t give them ammunition.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 16:24     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
Anonymous wrote:My DC will be moving down from A to B next year. And it is for the best - it is at a very competitive club. We had hoped DC would have been moved down last year when some others were moved down.

The age change a few years back did DC no favors, and DC doesn't play with any friends from DC grade and is young and small for the team.

Although a little embarrassing, DC just lost the aggressive edge DC had at younger ages. DC is excited to likely be a starter again with more playtime and really likes the lower team coach.


We're in the same boat (lost the aggression, etc, moved down) but DC has been admirable in looking for the positives.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 15:37     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
Anonymous wrote:Don't over think it. It will build character and help him learn to deal with it. If a teammate ask, "I didn't make it back on the 1st team, I'm going to another club and improve and hope to play with your guys again"

It's soccer, nothing to be ashamed about. If he committed a crime and was being sent to prison, then lie. This is just a speedbump.


That was a weird example lol
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 15:34     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
Did they notify each family individually in a systematic way? If not, can you just say you don't know and haven't tried to find out because older DC is at a different club and you have a good spot for your younger DC?

If they did send out notices to everyone you might just have to avoid conversation by staring at your phone or sitting in a different area than all the other parents. Hard to avoid that question if everyone knows emails went out on a specific day.

Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 15:13     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If the club heard that you were moving anyway...or had already decided to move, then they may have decided to not give an A team offer. It is best to not tell others you are even thinking about leaving.


Op here. No one knows. I have not said anything to anyone. My older son is moving so that’s why I’m moving my younger son (the one who was dropped). I want only one club. Too hard logically to do two separate clubs.


While I agree with others that there is no shame in being moved down, maybe the easiest answer is that you aren't coming back and have accepted a spot elsewhere.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2019 15:03     Subject: My kid dropped from A to B
Don't over think it. It will build character and help him learn to deal with it. If a teammate ask, "I didn't make it back on the 1st team, I'm going to another club and improve and hope to play with your guys again"

It's soccer, nothing to be ashamed about. If he committed a crime and was being sent to prison, then lie. This is just a speedbump.