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[quote=Anonymous]My husband has chronic pain  and does nothing physical with the kids (no diaper changes, no dressing them, no getting them in and out of car seats, no baths, no meal prep or clean up etc). He has days where it is difficult for him to brush his own teeth or take a shower himself.  Basically I do all the kid stuff and all the home stuff.  He works, does what he needs to do to maintain himself physically as best he can and takes care of bills and things that are just computer work.  It’s really hard and it’s not what either of us had imagined family life would be like, but it’s our reality and we do the best that we can.

Hopefully it will get easier as the kids get older and their needs are less hands on.  He can spend a few hours at a time with our 5 year old at this point, but he can’t be alone with our toddler for more than about a half hour at a time and even that is difficult.

My suggestion would be to simplify as much as possible, try to accept that you may not have the home life that you had expected, and reassess how he is capable of contributing as your child gets older.  Maybe consider some counseling for yourself, it is a very difficult position to be put in and hard not to feel resentment at times.  It might be helpful to have a place to be able to express and work thought some of those feelings outside of your relationship. [/quote]

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