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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- he is refusing to get treatment for his depression and using drugs to cope, including allowing drugs around our infant. I don't really know how else to get through to him. FWIW we are UMC, he is a big law partner. I don't think anyone would suspect so it's hard carrying this secret. [/quote]

Both drugs and depression present an issue for maintaining his bar license (not in and of themselves, but if he mishandles cases or money or gets caught w/ illegal drugs) and therefore keeping his ability to earn a livelihood.  The DC Bar recognizes that many lawyers in the profession are struggling with the same issues as your DH and offers free, confidential help through the lawyer assistance program.  https://www.dcbar.org/bar-resources/lawyer-assistance-program/

It can be a lot for a BigLaw partner to admit stresses and get help -- the stigma of MI is strong and many still conceptualize those with MI as "crazy", "unreliable", "weak", etc.  Maybe knowing that other BigLaw partners and professionally successful peers are struggling with the same issues.

Are you a lawyer also?  You may be able to access these resources to find support as a partner of someone who is struggling.

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