Reply to He went to Detox and started drinking the day he go out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He was in detox for 4 days, refused further treatment, came home and promptly went to purchase more alcohol.  This is an almost 20 year marriage with kids involved.  I had decided a while ago I was moving on and this was his attempt to keep the marriage together and get me off his back.  I had little hope he’d actually quit drinking and sure enough, within hours he had restocked his supply.  I’ve consulted with an attorney and was given basic advise on what to do but anytime I want to talk to her it’s going to cost $ obviously.  He went to a hotel last night and I don’t want him back in the house.  Is there anything I can do to stop him from moving back in?  How do I protect my credit from him?  We live in Fairfax County. 
 [/quote]

You need to go back to this lawyer and put down a retainer [b]and file the separation papers ASAP.  [/b]Your attorney will tell you about asking DH to leave, or kicking him out.  Your attorney will also advise you about moving money (or not), protecting credit, etc.  Do not wait.  It does not get better from here.

IME, you can ask him not to come back to the house and/or to move out, even if you can't legally force him to do so.  IME, they know what they are doing is wrong and unhealthy.  My ex agreed to leave the home, but I allowed him to come back to the house to eat dinner with us and put the kids to bed every other night, as long as he was sober.  He could hold it together for an hour or two.  He could not hold it together for a day or a week.

Don't shame him, but draw a firm boundary.  What he is doing is not healthy for him or the kids or you, and while you know that it's a struggle, you won't live with him while he is drinking.  Encourage him to go back to rehab or seek other help.  Sometimes people have to go to rehab many times, or live in sober house, or get on meds, etc.  While alcoholism recovery is a lifelong process, that does not obligate any family members to live with an active alcoholic. [/quote]

Counselor, in what state does one "file separation papers"?  As someone above said, real life isn't television.  [/quote]

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