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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You say your MIL can barely care for FIL - not sure why she would be better able to do so at your home. You need to assume that, if you do this, you and DH will be doing a significant degree of his care, especially the heavy lifting. Literally.

My grandfather had Parkinson's. He ended up bedridden for over 2 years. He had to be physically helped to the bathroom, shower, etc. It required a full-time health aide, since my father couldn't be there all the time. There will be middle of the night accidents to clean up.

Living with someone with dementia or Alzheimer's can be frightening for young children.  This would be my biggest concern. My mother tells stories about her grandmother who had Alzheimer's and lived with them when my mom was a teen. Her grandmother would get violent sometimes. She would get confused about where she was and who my mom and her parents were. One time she was trying to leave in the middle of the night. My grandfather was trying to physically restrain her. She didn't recognize my grandfather (her son) and was fighting him, saying "wait until my sons get here!" My mom still has such a vivid memory of this scene, and my grandfather crying.

So, yes, there's a lot to consider. A lot depends on the kinds of symptoms your FIL has. Personally, my biggest hesitation would be the impact to my kids. Is there going to be lots of yelling from a confused man who doesn't recognize them? Would he pose a physical danger to them?

Good luck. This is such a hard situation to be in. [/quote]

When my DH was little he lived with his great grandmother who had some dementia/hallucinations but was still fairly physically able. She pushed DH down the stairs because she thought he was an intruder and he broke his arm. [/quote]

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