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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][i]How about getting your own life?
Seriously.

If you have your own identity and your own self-worth, then you don’t need your kid’s life to fill yours.[/i] If your entire identity is about being Larla’s mom, then you obsess about Larla. But if you’re a great co-worker or a great painter or great lover of reading or a great volunteer at a shelter, then there’s no need to derive your identity from your kid.

I have middle schooler and high schooler. I’m engaged in what’s going on in their lives, but up to a point if only because I just don’t have the energy or brain power to be obsessive. I have other things in my life—friends, work, interests—that also take up that energy and brain power. And it also helps that I have a spouse that is both a great friend and is engaged with our kids. We share that and would definitely check the other if one was becoming consumed with our kids’ lives.

So start with doing something that is totally unrelated to your kid. Sign up for a class or commit to reading or get a job outside the home (if you don’t have one). [/quote]

Mine are 3 and 4, and I can admit that I don't really have any friends or hobbies.  My whole identity is in them.  [/quote]

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