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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you have almost paid off your house but still have student loan debt???  Weird. You need a FA.

Also, if you return to full time work, PT medical role would work perfectly. Not sure if you PT at a hospital, so they give you medical insurance?
[/quote]

OP here - the mortgage loan interest rate was higher than the student loan interest rate, so we decided to try to pay that off first.

I hadn't thought of the medical insurance issue - ideally DH would still get medical insurance even if he works PT, but I'm not sure if he will be able to.

And ideally, I would rather work less than full-time when I return to work, but that might be just a pipe dream.  [b]DH is [u]handicapped[/u][i] when it comes to household and practical stuff (cleaning, laundry, organization, budgeting) .  And if he were to handle childcare - pretty much everything would be eliminated like activities, sports, snacks, crafts, playdates, toys, school events.[/b] He is a good dad, but he has extreme prioritizing where there are only a couple things that are important and everything else is completely unimportant.  So for the sake of keeping an organized house and for the sake of the kids, I'd like to handle most of the house and kid stuff.[/quote]

So he wants to work part-time and then do his own thing with the extra time?  With little kids in the house, student debt, and college tuitions to pay down the line?

You are a way more patient wife than I would be, in this scenario.[/quote]

This. Seriously. If he wanted to be a man child and bum around and garden then he should not have incited debt, married and had children to take care of. And you enabled him. It's like teens who mow the lawn badly so they won't get asked again. [/quote]

He has his areas of competence - he's handy at fixing things, he's great with playing with the children, he's great at gardening, and he's great at his job.  We all have areas that we are better at than others, but it is just more extreme with him - [b]I would consider him [u]disabled[/u][/b] in other areas.[/quote]

Stop using the terms "disabled" and "handicapped" unless he has an actual diagnosis.  Which he doesn't.

We all have areas we are better at than others, but adults do what we need to do regardless of what we are good at.  It is not acceptable for a full-grown adult to decide not to "believe in" separating laundry or not figure the hell out out how to keep track of the kids' schedule and get them to their activities.

If he didn't want to step up to the parts of parenting that he is "not good at," he should not have had kids.[/quote]

OP here and I'm not sure what to tell you - at one point in time, these things were a huge point of conflict, esp. when we first moved in together, but at some point I decided to choose our relationship over "being right".   He honest to goodness does not see the point of separating lights and darks - he says it doesn't matter if the whites turn gray, why should it, etc.  He doesn't believe that kids should be signed up for any kind of sports or activities outside of school, and that our society in general over-schedules children.  And he kicks me out of the house on the rare occasions that he cooks, because I get so visibly anxious about where he is putting that raw chicken.  I once caught him trying to cook chicken wings that were so spoiled that they smelled like feces, and we spent a half hour arguing about it because he was convinced it would be fine once he cooked it because it would kill the germs.  And he believes that anything that is still sealed never goes bad, including eggs because they have a shell.  Again, I wish I were joking, but unfortunately I'm not.  He is incredibly intelligent in some areas but sorely missing common sense in other areas, and even after 20 years together, he still finds ways to confound me with his flawed reasoning and his blind attachment to it.  When we first met, we argued about things like the existence of "merge lanes" on the highway - he was convinced there was no such thing (after almost getting into several car accidents). There is no diagnosis that fits him, he is an oddball in that respect, but I think the most challenging part is that he doesn't believe he has a problem - he believes everyone else has a problem. Anyway, I digress....[/quote]

Given that we do not yet have time machine technology, my only advice to you is:

See a financial planner.

Drink a glass of wine a few times a week.

Never, ever stop working.[/quote]

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