Reply to Anyone call in family support so you can pursue a career?

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[quote=Anonymous]I did not ask DH to quit job but our promotion schedules were such that his clock was much longer than mine. So during the intensive stage for me (close to promotion, two young kids), he essentially flexed his time and handled pick up/ drop off, cooking, laundry, etc. The cooking and laundry he has had periodic help with from nannies and my mother. Current nanny does laundry during the week and preps for cooking so it’s just 10 min when we get home. My mother has also stayed for months on time when baby is born — she doesn’t do infant care but she cooks a lot and does laundry. Those were pretty intensive years for me with pregnancy, breastfeeding (nursed for ~1.5 years with both), and all the research of child development, getting the kids what they needed for their different stages, finding childcare, etc. So I was grateful that he could step up on the day to day.

Now we are transitioning out of this stage and if my promotion goes as expected, I’ll have the seniority next year to flex and cover for him in the same way. His mom had a high level career, eventually earning more than his father (who was a physician and a consultant), so he is the one who initiated many of the conversations and changes. He says we should think strategically for the family as a whole and always encouraged me to follow my passions, saying that the kids would need me for more than just these years. I would say probably I’m less gungho than his mom so I have chosen to give up career opportunities to be with the kids when I can. I am home by 4 or 5 and work after they sleep.

As for my mom, she helped because it’s cultural. She saw it as her role. However she is in a different stage of her life where she wants to do her own thing so naturally at times we needed help and she could not come. I don’t think it is the kind of thing you can expect or ask from your parents once they are done raising you, although I understand how nice it would be to have grandparents in town who take over the house. I do see that sometimes around here (mostly Asian families or Hispanic).[/quote]

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