Reply to How to raise “popular” kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There’s good popular (naturally liked by many for the right reasons) and there’s not so good popular. Social engineering by parents results in not so good popular.[/quote]

[b]The good-popular kids are those who are friendly, outgoing, and nice to everyone--[/b]those are the kids that everyone likes.  Some of that is just personality, but you can help your kid develop good manners and social skills, encourage friendships, etc.  The bad-popular kids are those whose standing is based on exclusion and manipulation, and parents can feed that, too.  [/quote]

as adults and parents, this is the way we see these kids but now my kid is older, in high school, and I can look back and say we as parents had blinders on.

The popular kids were good at being nice to adults and nice to most kids but they were also good at being a little bit snarky and sometimes exclusive.  That's what helped them gain popularity.  Exclusivity is an important element for kids socially. It's developmentally appropriate at certain stages as well. The trick is that kids have to learn to not get too vested and to be able to move beyond it.

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