Reply to if you stayed in a bad marriage for your kids, do you think you did the right thing?

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Reply to "if you stayed in a bad marriage for your kids, do you think you did the right thing?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A friend of mine grew up in a home like that. Parents who clearly hated one another but stayed together until the youngest child (of five) turned 18. All the kids (currently between mid twenties and early 40s in age) are independent adults with solid careers but all are unable to maintain long term relationships. Not a single one is married (and several want to be). Not so sure the parents did them a service by modeling that kind of family life. [/quote]

The thing is, you don't get a second chance at "modeling". It's not like if you divorce but then get a second husband you love the kids will have a good family life "modeled" for them (unless perhaps they are too young to remember the divorce). What they will have "modeled" for them is that maybe if you switch around you will get lucky after leaving some wreckage in your wake. There are no "modeling" benefits for second marriages, happy or not, after the kids have gone through a divorce.[/quote]

Huh?  Are you really saying that no parents that have remarried demonstrate happy, loving relationships to their children?  To the contrary, if the bio parents were dysfunctional, then the second marriage, if loving, demonstrates what a healthy relationship can be. If the parents don’t remarry, aren’t the kids left with the only image of parential relationships being that of their parents failed marriage?[/quote]

If the second marriage is as bad or worse, you still have the hassles of divorce and the financial impact and the loss of the original family.  There is no guarantee that parents will be happier after divorce.  It is a crapshoot.

You aren't always modeling what you think you are modeling.  Sometimes it is how to give up when things get tough, how to walk away from your vows, and how to have a second failed marriage.[/quote]

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