Reply to It would be a bad idea to go to family counseling with my narcissistic parents right?

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Reply to "It would be a bad idea to go to family counseling with my narcissistic parents right?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]See [b]a therapist to grieve the childhood/relationship you wish you had[/b]. Process this alone with therapist (or with healthy friends).

Do not involve the parents. It will make you crazy. Even if it provides insight to you and them, there's the ability to admit wrong, and then there's the ability to change. They likely lack both.[/quote]

This is the key point.  You say you hope to achieve a normal relationship.  You never will with an NPD.  You need to come to terms with that.  It is OK to be really sad.  In some ways it is harder to grieve for a living parent and the dream you had for them than for a dead one, because you can always be seduced by the hope that something will change.  Nothing will change.  Grieving and accepting that will allow you to get as close to the fire as you think appropriate (letting your kids know their grandparents, visiting occasionally, whatever you think is right) without getting burned either by their destructive behavior or the hope that they have changed[/quote]

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