Reply to Help! DD14 does not want to come with us on family trip

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Who are all of these people who think that the parent-child relationship consists of parents giving orders and children obeying? For 14-year-olds?[/quote]

People who live in houses run by adults and not children?

This isn't a petty dictatorship issue where OP is insisting a teenager wear a certain sweater for the family photo; the kid is too young to stay home without adult supervision for 4 days, and it's a sign that something has gone really wrong in OP's parenting that she thinks she has the option to make the demand (and that OP thinks she can't simply veto it).  [/quote]

It isn't, but you're making it one. The 14-year-old would stay home with her 19-year-old sister, so that's not staying home alone. And OP hasn't said WHY the 14-year-old is refusing to go on an 8-hour trip. If you think the reason is irrelevant because the 14-year-old has to obey or else, regardless, then yes, it's a petty dictatorship.[/quote]

She doesn't want to be confined in the car for that long with all of us, she doesn't want to socialize, she is going through a moody phase and possibly depressed.[/quote]

I think when our kids are pushing us away is when they need us MOST. Maybe she needs to feel like you're willing to listen to what she has to say with no judgement. And then, maybe throw her a bone and offer to find her a (less desirable I'm sure but whatevs) different place to sleep on your trip - on a couch, on an air mattress tucked away in the basement where she can get some quiet if things feel overwhelming.

I would NOT leave my depressed daughter home alone, but I would try to support and comfort her.[/quote]

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