Reply to Tween boy with HFA has no desire to socialize with peers

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Can we accept that some children on the spectrum desperately want friends?
And that others do not? 
My child fits in the latter category, but I know others in the former.

OK, thank you.[/quote]

I agree with this. I would also say that all kids need some connection with peers. It is good that OPs child connects in structured settings. I would gently push toward more. All kids don't need tons of friends coming over and hanging out, but we do have to push for continued improvement of social skills. It will help them in school, jobs, life.

It's great for kids to chat with adults too, but that must take the place of social connections with kids in your age range (can be younger by a year or two or 3 sometimes too). The kid who goes on and on and on about say washing machines might seem cute to an adult and that adult might reinforce it too much, whereas a kid would only take so much before telling the kid to shut up...and that is actually a good thing. Our kids have to be able to talk about all different topics, read social cues, find topics that interest others. A kid will tell you when you are rude, hurtful, smelly, etc whereas an adult who isn't your mom or dad may not. We don't want people to politely tolerate our kids we want them to have those who want to be around them.

Now it is fine not to be Mr. Popular. You do need social connections outside of structured settings.[/quote]

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