Reply to Tell Me About Being an Only Child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am an only child and feel I missed out on sharing, accommodating others and developing social skills related to that. As a result, I think I go the other way in my adult life. I can't say no.

An only child can have an active social life with friends outside of the home, so this is not a concern. But when it matters most, ie, in the most intimate functioning of a household, they will necessarily be the center of attention. Their needs are guaranteed to be a priority. Parents can become suffocating, especially in the teen years. [b]There may be a lot more pressure to succeed, because it's the parents' one and only chance.[/b]

And the reality is that these tendencies are nearly impossible to change, OP. I've seen my friends with onlies behave in the same way my parents behaved. Their children are all to some degree coddled and unconsciously self-centered because it's so hard to do otherwise.

So I don't have much advice really, except to suggest that you need to watch for your child's ability to accommodate other people's needs, yet also learn to stand their ground when need be. Something to substitute for that sibling relationship. Perhaps get your child to sleepover camps, promote close friendships, get your child into activities that will become a second family for years. Something like that.
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PP from 13:02 here.  +1000 to this.  The pressure was intense.  I was always a "good girl", bookish, quiet type who never caused them any trouble.  I excelled in high school but struggled in college, both personally and academically.  I hid as much as I could from my parents, until I couldn't anymore.  The fear of failure and disappointment that I was afraid I would cause them was awful. [/quote]

PPs have nailed it. As an only child, the biggest issue is that I am afraid to say anything to my parents that indicate life isn't 100% great because, as PP said, I am the "one and only chance." I am 36 and still feel this way! Not sure how you can mitigate it, but does feel like this is the main challenge. [/quote]

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