Reply to Marriage counselor told us we need to make time for us

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We each made a list of things that would help accomplish that.  I want us to split the chores more evenly .  It’s about a 40/60 split now but I want something like 45/55 if not 50/50.

I also suggested a date night once a month.

DH  is taking on more household things and has lined up a babysitter for this weekend and planned a date.

I’m having trouble implementing his list. The reason for that is I feel like his list unfairly targets the kids. Example he wants to limit them to 1 activity because he thinks we spend to much time rushing from place to place and  prepping for activities.

He also wants to move youngest DC out of our room.  DC is only  3 years old the other kids stayed with us until they were 5/6.

He says that fewer activities will give us more time in the evening and we mainly me will be less exhausted. He also thinks moving the baby will improve our intimacy. He’s not just  talking sex . We have enough sex . He just  “ wants me to himself.”

I think he’s being a little selfish. Which is odd because he’s always going on  about putting the kids first.  He’s a good dad to all 4 kids he has always treated my son as his own. Before anyone says iit he wanted kids  very badly. He and his first wife actually divorced because she didn’t want kids.[/quote]

Having young children in the marital bed only works if both partner are on board.  Your DH isn’t on board anymore.  A Three year old  is old enough to sleep in their own bed in their bedroom (shared or otherwise).  It’s okay for your husband to want you for himself in the bedroom.

How many activities are your children in today? How many times a week does each activity meet?  How often do you have family dinners with everyone in the family at the dinner table?

How do your jobs impact schedules? What are the work hours including commutes?
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