Reply to Would you not reciprocate a play date if friend’s house was too big?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We live in a very large home (15,000sf). I have two much older kids and a new baby. I’m meeting some new moms and want to have them over but am afraid my house is too large.

When my older kids were younger, we lived in a smaller large house (8,000sf) and even then some people would comment on how large our house was.

I feel like one of the new mom friends I made dropped me after coming over. We used to chat about baby topics and trade advice. She stopped inviting me out and her texts have become really short. I know it could be a million other things but it happened right after she came over. Other moms joke about our different wings and servants. We don’t have servants, just a housekeeper. They will comment on how I don’t know what it is like since someone else cleans and does the laundry.

I have become so overly self conscious about this that I am afraid to host a play date in my home.

Am I totally overthinking this?
Would you not reciprocate if you went to a play date in a home that was too large?[/quote]

OP, I think your obvious displays of wealth are intimidating to a lot of people. I know that I would be intimidated by a mansion with a housekeeper (not just someone who comes over regularly to clean, but a full time housekeeper). I would feel uncomfortable if you came to my 2-bedroom condo because it is very much outside of what you're used to. I would not drop you as a friend, but I would probably try to avoid playdates at either of our homes. In your friend's case, it sounds like maybe she does not see you as a person who can provide advice to her or talk about baby stuff since your entire life perspective is going to be shaped by your environment. I would constantly be worried that if I was expressing frustration with something, you would offer advice that would be applicable to a very wealthy person. My 15mo baby is having a hard time sleeping right now and as a mom with a professional full time job, that is wearing thin on me. If your suggestion was to hire a night nurse or quit my job, I would think that you were pretty out of touch. Not saying that's what you'd say, but I would be worried about it.[/quote]

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