Reply to adopting a child who is the product of rape

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]FWIW
My biological father (whom I have not met) raped his two, mentally retarded, teenage nieces. He served about 10 years for it and is now a registered sex offender so I can watch him age on the internet.  I wish that I did not know this about him because it does make me feel a little grossed out about my genes if I think about it too much.  Nobody told me. I found a newspaper clipping in my grandmother's house while looking for a stamp when I was 17.  I never told anyone I knew/know and I'm 37.

This type of information messes with your mind even if you are a happy, sane, well adjusted, loved person.[/quote]

This is why adoptive families and relatives (of their biological kids) should consider where they keep information and what they do with it.  Our son's birthfather has some criminal issues that he was very upfront about and we found on the internet easily but we very quickly destroyed it for this reason - we do not want our son finding it.  He is very good and decent to us and we'd rather our son know the good in him vs. the past dumb things he's done (nothing as serious as rape) and he's working hard to change his life around for his other child he his parenting (prior to our son).  What we know, we know and will stay with us and we will only share the positive and what they choose to share at an age appropriate time they can but we know they will only do it with our consent.  Something like this does not need to be found, especially like this.  :(  I'm sorry you found out that way and that it happened.  What a horrible situation for you and your family.[/quote]

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