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[quote=Anonymous]I waited until I found a higher-paying job. It meant going from a job I loved to a job I sort-of like, but I got a significant raise, and getting out of my toxic, emotionally abusive marriage was more important to me than loving my job.

In the meantime, I put myself on a really tight budget (dropped house cleaners, stopped going out, grocery shopped at Aldi, stopped buying new clothes, colored my own hair, got Haircuttery cuts for $19, dropped my gym membership), and aggressively saved for a year. I sold a ton of stuff too.

During that year, I went to biweekly therapy, paid for by my EAP and health insurance, which kept me sane.

By the time I filed, I was pretty emotionally separated, I had the means to support myself, a retainer and savings cushion, and had already started processing it emotionally.

It still hurt, but I felt that I was well-positioned.

If you and your kids aren’t in danger, you’re not pregnant with some other man’s baby, or there aren’t other circumstances that mean you need to go NOW, I recommend this tack. Especially if you want to stay in the same neighborhood/school district.[/quote]

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