Reply to What would you do in this nut allergy situation?

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m a 47 year old mother with a peanut allergy and ADHD.  Growing up in the 70’s, no one took my allergy seriously; not even my parents.  They kept peanut butter in the house. I kept having to remind my mother not to kiss me if she had even eating her mixed nuts.  I don’t think I was even aware that it could kill me until I was a teenager, and I had to ask for an Epi Pen myself when I got to college.  Which is a good thing, vbecause I had my first anaphylactic reaction in college.

It’s still a struggle to remember.  When I switch from a purse to a backpack for a casual event, at least 1/4 times I forget the EpiPen.  Just last month, I was at a coworker’s dinner party and was literally chewing my first mouthful of pulled chicken before thinking to ask if there could have been peanuts in the BBQ sauce.  I’m not only protecting my life, I’m responsible for raising my child, and I STILL can’t always remember, especially if I am stressed and overwhelmed.

That said, I am 100% responsible for my own allergy.  And your 13 year old needs to be, too.  But I am lucky that part of advocating for myself has been to surround myself with friends and loved ones who are aware and are vigilant for me, too.  I don’t hold them responsible but wow and I’m grateful when my husband reminds me about my EpiPen or a friend assured me about something being nut-free ahead of time.

You need to put this more in your son.  And he needs to know for sure, bluntly, that his dad is not reliable and will not keep him safe from nuts.  You still need to step in and model for him sometimes, yes, and keep reminding.  But have it be in him.  Have him earn privileges based in his reliability and remembering his epi pen (like, if he remembers it X many times, he earns a sleepover or a later curfew...if he forgets it, he shows he can’t be trusted with additional responsibilities and privileges.)[/quote]

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