Reply to Husband's Parents very Clearly Love one Drandson, but not the Other

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, while I would happily cut contact, DH is insistent that we can't. DH feels he is in debt to MIL and FIL for paying for college and has made it clear that he will start divorce proceedings and take the kids should I press the issue. He thinks that going no contact would hurt DS14 and that we should be trying to improve DS15's relationship with his grandparents, not cutting it out. [/quote]

If that is his stance, what is HE doing to improve that relationship, since clearly there have been many instances where wounds have been inflicted? What is HE going to do to protect DS15 going forward and to address past grievances with his folks?

And if HE won't let you press the issue of cutting off contact, and if HE won't confront his parents, will he support you if YOU confront his parents whenever there is a grievance going forward? Doing extra shopping for them or nixing a trip doesn't cut it. They need to be called out on their behavior each time it happens and there needs to be a discussion not in the boys' presence to make clear what the expectations are for equal treatment.

Feeling in debt to his parents... My DH and I paid for college too, but you'd better believe if we behaved like that around our grandkids, we would not be welcome to visit much if at all! Paying for college does not earn one the privilege of hateful behavior to loved ones. Your DH needs to understand this. If they MUST visit, then he MUST stand up for everyone in the family, firmly and consistently.[/quote]

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