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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: I’m not sure if I’m not being clear, but I want a happier, stronger marriage that I will want to stay in. Solutions that anount to living as if I don’t have a husband don’t help much.[/quote]

The one thing I noticed - you seem to love your husband and everything about him. The one thing you don't love is anything to do with work involving the kids and household management.

So hire a freaking nanny and go on some dates with the man you're still in love with. I don't understand why this is hard. [/quote]
NP..... My issue with my “perfect” DH is that he wants to outsource everything on his list - cutting the grass, replacing the filters, fixing the fence, and house cleaning for me. I’m sure most women will love this, but for some things it seems wasteful. The items on my list are everyday maintenenace and could not all ”be solved with just getting help. The cleaning people clean the kitchen on Friday, but by Saturday night it’s a mess again....the laundry, the kid care, etc is daily almost.  I figured  i have  a higher threshhold of messiness than He does. So if I wanted something done that was not on his outsourcing list, I’d have to do it myself. Sweep the walkway, pick up the used dryer sheets off the laundry floor, clean bird poop off the mailbox....he just doesn’t see these things or think they don’t matter. So by the end of the day, i am exhausted or bitter. And then I don’t want to be intimate, which makes him bitter, etcetera, etcetera!,

We’re doing counseling and that’s working. It’s through our church so it focuses on the Bible, love, Jesus, grace, forgiveness, etc. we are going on dates and are slowly becoming friendly again. I am seeing that he is not intentionally trying to annoy me and that’s he is just being him. We are talking about the stress of work, and his views on housework, kids, etc. we have separated the chores a little more....it’s still uneven, but we both acknowledge that.  We talked through our thoughts on everything - sex, chores, raising and disciplining the kids, Me As WOHM, and division of responsibility . (Somewhere early in there I let him think that I wanted and loved doing all of the house and kid- related chores. Somewhere early he tried too imoress me by talking the “manly” chores, but has little confidence in doing them because of comments I have made in passing)
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