Reply to How to handle--better boundaries or do I just need to let go?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]At this point, my dilemma is, how nice do I have to be to GF? She has made it clear in so many ways that she finds my kids and nephews/niece to be a hassle and does not seem to be interested in having a relationship with any of them beyond the most basic pleasantries. At this point my sense is that she doesn't care all that much for me either (not as sure about DH or BIL/SIL as I have not witnessed as many interactions with them). But do I suck it up and treat her like part of one big happy family anyway...? We don't host any holiday gatherings and have included her and her kids in any big events (wedding, etc). Do I keep going to visit and indulge her increasingly extensive demands and chilly behavior towards my kids?[/quote]

The answer to question one is that you absolutely do need to continue to be pleasant and civil to her.  It may be that she finds the kids to be an inconvenience and doesn't want to have a relationship with them, and it may be that you aren't one of her favorites.  But you are not going to make it any easier on your husband by being anything but nice to this woman.  
That being said, being nice doesn't mean being willing to drive 4-5 hours each way to visit with them for 3-4 hours over a weekend.  You can choose to stay at a hotel, and try to arrange to do some activities with FIL outside of the house.  You can invite them to visit you at your place - that way, if only FIL wants to come, his girlfriend can stay home.  [/quote]

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