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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you present these options to DH: resume adequate intimate life together, open marriage, divorce.

An affair will likely lead to divorce anyway, better to do it thought fully so you don't mess up a lot of kids. Or maybe you can make don't ask, don't tell work. But DH cannot hold all the cards here. Marriage counseling to mediate this might help.

Is he possibly gay? What reasons has he given you for lack of intimacy[/quote]

OP here.  You are right, I will present these options, and be firm.

His reasons have been that he is overweight.  But, he is physically active in life, and I know he looks at porn, so... I think he is capable.  His other reason in the beginning was that nobody continues having a sex life as they get older... this was when I was still in my 30's.  When I talked to girlfriends, they all seem to complain that their husbands always want sex.  I never admit my situation, but after I brought that up to my DH, he stopped using that line.  As for gay... it's possible I guess, but when I have caught him looking at porn (by accident) (I am totally fine with porn), he has been looking at pics of women.[/quote]
I think if you told him how close you are to having an affair he would either shape up or ship out.

I know you don’t care that your potential AP is married but that seems like a very potentially messy situation. Like look what just happened in PA...no thanks. [/quote]

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