Reply to S/O locking spouse out of bedroom or "requiring" spouse to sleep on couch

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I caught him having an affair, he had a choice the nanny suite or a hotel. You think that is out of line? If he wants to see the kids he should stay in the suite, if he wants to flee the kids go to a hotel.

I never made him stay in the suite, I just would not allow him in my room. [/quote]

This is OP, and yes, I do think it's out of line.  Obviously, so was the affair!  IMO it would be fine if you negotiated with him to stay in the nanny suite otherwise you will leave the home or file for separation or whatever.  In that case, he is agreeing to it because the alternative is worse.  But neither the house nor the kids belong to you alone, so you can't demand that he sleep in the nanny suite if he doesn't want to, nor can you say "if he wants to see the kids, he must...."[/quote]

I have to say that it would take a lot of guts to file for separation the day you found out about an affair.  I think most people need a few hours or days to process things.  And it might not be something that you want to tell your children about.  They are much more likely to notice the fact that they live in a hotel now than that dad has been on a business trip for a few days.  [/quote]

I think a number of the wives who file for divorce immediately were looking for a get out of marriage free card. Their husbands just gave them a gold-plated invitation to dump their husbands as adultery is a shocking thing unlike being annoying, being lazy, and other things that tend to wear a spouse down over time but that can't be neatly summarized in an elevator pitch.[/quote]

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